jueves, 6 de diciembre de 2012

Herta Müller/En tierras bajas

En la distancia podría confundir a Herta con, pongamos un ejemplo carnoso, Megan Fox… jopé qué pasada… resultado, lo anterior, de haberme puesto a leer En tierras bajas.

Lo cosa es que si nos leemos un relato de Herta Müller, aparte de quedarnos algo acojonados, lo normal será que flipemos. Hablo de uno solo. Asunto que vendría a ser como ver a lo lejos a una tipa y parecernos la carnosa Megan Fox… fliparemos.

Leer un segundo relato de Herta Müller sería lo mismo que acercarnos a la tipa carnosa... aproximación que supondrá que nos entren ciertas dudas sobre si la tipa es o no es Megan…

Con lo que si seguimos leyendo relatos de Herta el resultado será que, a medida que nos acercamos más y más a la tipa que a lo lejos nos pareció Megan Fox, ya no tendremos ninguna duda de que delante de nuestras narices tenemos en realidad un mandril… jopé qué pasada…

Le comenté el espejismo a un compañeiro que me dijo que se había leído En tierras bajas… y que cuando leyó el primer relato flipó… y que le pareció como si fuese, no Megan Fox, sino una fortaleza robusta e inexpugnable que se alza en la lontananza… me dijo que cuando leyó el segundo relato fue como si se hubiese acercado algo a la fortaleza y le hubiesen entrado algunas dudas sobre su inexpugnabilidad… y acabó contándome que a mitad del libro ya había comprobado, llegando hasta su mismísima puerta, que la fortaleza era de cartón piedra, una birria, un chamizo flatoril…

Al rato nos encontramos con otro amigo que nos dijo que estaba leyendo En tierras bajas… en concreto nos dijo que acababa de empezar, que había leído el primer relato y que Herta Müller parecía, va y nos suelta, Méndez Ferrín… jopé qué pasada… ambos le preguntamos si le parecía Xose Luis de cerca o de lejos…

A los días nos encontramos con ese mismo amigo que nos confirmó que Herta Müller le parecía un invento maravilloso, con algo de Méndez Ferrín, también de Cunqueiro… hasta nos soltó el nombre de Celan… por la temática más que nada, nos dijo… y ya no lo dejamos seguir con semejantes valoraciones personalísimas e insoportables y lo que hicimos fue encerrarlo en el interior de un arcón con un mandril en celo… primate que, estando todo a oscuras, nuestro amigo confundió con Megan Fox, con lo que se puso a hacer lo que pudo o se le ocurrió o le dejó el bicho mitad peludo mitad lampiño, tras lo cual, Herta dijo que el arcón desprendía un insoportable olor a peras podridas, y que veía culebras negras por el suelo…

Comentarios afectados y teatrales que nos parecieron lo mismo que verla a ella de lejos… con lo que escapamos pitando y nos escondimos en una fortaleza donde apareció Megan Fox… que estaba leyendo En tierras bajas nopordios!… por lo que la mujer más carnosa del orbe nos confundió con sus príncipes azules. A mí me llamó peras podridas. A mi compinche culebras negras… luego nos encerró en un arcón con Herta Müller…

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